I fell asleep on the plane this morning with a latte in my hand, and it spilled into my crotch, and now I am pretty sure it looks like I peed. Really professional, Brown!
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On my way back from SXSW I managed to spill bloody mary in my lap. Awful. You have my sympathies.
I'm thinking this is an elaborate cover story to hide the fact that you ACTUALLY peed.
Just tell people to sniff your crotch if they don't believe it's coffee.
All you need to do is jump into a lake. Then it will appear you just saved a drowning woman.

That happened to my coworker as we were driving 2 hours to Bakersfield for a conference. It really looks like pee if you're wearing khaki pants.