I'm really confused, and I need some clarification.
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18 commentsReplies
blahblah said, (254 days ago)
I would say that they fear to be alone and rather be with you instead of facing the fact they may want to be with someone else. Yet they can not be alone to find the next person, because that person may never come.
Do you like this person a lot?
Talking Unicorns said, (254 days ago)
I do like him a lot. I mean when he's not being clingy he totally makes me feel safe and I can tell him anything. Maybe that's the problem. It's totally different when we hang out in person ... because he can fill that need for constant communication. I know that he has other friends, but we've been hanging out every weekend. He expressed his interest in me this week, but also his aversion to being in a relationship. I was fine with that, but now I'm just confused with this clingy behaviour.
CocktailsMalIntent said, (254 days ago)
Well, you should ask him exactly what he means by antirelationship. it could be that this is more a semantic problem than a interpersonal one.
Talking Unicorns said, (254 days ago)
@Cocktails and Malicious Intent he was specific ... no relationship, no commitment he didn't want me to feel like I was leading me on if I wanted a relationship.
blahblah said, (254 days ago)
What do you want from all this though?
If you want commitment down the road and this same feelings continue will that be a good thing?
Or will this just blow up and become a big mess down the road?
I do not mean to make this sound negative, it just sounds tricky and I hate tricky things in my life. It always possesses my mind way too much and then I become unhappy because of something I should of maybe prevented. But love does not work that way I know......
Talking Unicorns said, (254 days ago)
I know. It's complicated. I'm well aware that this could turn into a big mess. But the thing is I don't know what I want. I'm such a gypsy. I never stay in the same place for long, and as a result of my restlessness I'm a commitment phob. I hate being tied down and I've become cynical about love and relationships. I've also expressed this to him.
I'd rather short term date right now then get into anything super serious. I see my friends in these very serious and mature relationships soo young and for the most part they say that they are in love but are miserable.
I'm just confused when he communicated that he wanted one thing, but acts in a manner that contradicts that. I can handle the no commitment thing, but ... I don't think he knows what he really wants.
blahblah said, (254 days ago)
Well then you guys sound prefect of one another for the moment.
You are both lost and perfectly normal for this part of you life.
I would say do not fret and just enjoy it.
If the clinginess is bothering you then just say good bye and move on if thats what will help.
You are growing up and we all are growing up. So do not fret if you believe that you are going the right way or if this is right decision, because you will learn what you want as you grow. Its just a pain in the ass until them.
Talking Unicorns said, (254 days ago)
lol yes for the moment I suppose we are. I am really young and I do have a ways to go. Thanks for 'listening' to my issue. I appreciate your honest feedback. :)
When someone you are dating says they are anti-relationship and non-committal but yet they text/email/im/facebook you several times a day, and act super clingy when I don't respond how am I supposed to understand what they actually want?