Ugh. I don't know why I torture myself by watching tragic movies before bed. I do this frequently without thinking about it and then I get all wrapped up in thoughts of my own mortality and can't sleep.
i_am_a_jerk_to_myself
I like!
No thanks!
Favorite
12 commentsReplies
? said, (256 days ago)
I do the same thing by listening to music from my young days--like right now.
thejoyofsound said, (256 days ago)
@The MPB: I do that sometimes when I've been drinking and get all sorts of worked up
? said, (256 days ago)
@thejoyofsound: Seems about right. I've got my rum, some Joy Division, and a few memories rattling about. Sleep is not a visitor tonight.
adam_alligator said, (256 days ago)
i often try to watch west side story before bed but don't make it past the opening instrumental part (what's the word for that?? it's slipped my mind..)
thejoyofsound said, (256 days ago)
Yeah,I frequently don't go to sleep until day light because when I remember that I am indeed going to die someday, I find it too jarring to settle down. I end up needing to distract myself and by the time the sun comes up, I'm too tired to care anymore.
It's times like these that I wish I believed in God. I know that's a weird thing to say but it's true. I think if I thought there was some sort of afterlife, I'd be alright. I don't though. I think it's just "lights out, bye bye" and I can't really deal with that.
I should probably start taking sleeping pills.
? said, (256 days ago)
I used to distract myself with booze and clubbing, but I now live in a quiet town where I don't know anyone. Besides, I'm a bit long in the tooth to be a club kid.
I tend to think of everything I haven't accomplished via lack of opportunity or via cowardice when the insomnia hits. I kind of wish I'd developed a taste for mind-numbing infomercials.
thejoyofsound said, (256 days ago)
@adam_alligator: That's adorable. Haha. I should try that. I don't own West Side Story though.
@The MPB: I'm in a fairly good place with my past. I've had a lot of wild times. I haven't done as much traveling as I'd like to though. It kind of freaks me out that I might never get to.
I don't know why death scares me so much. It's almost irrational.
I can't distract myself with boozin because it's not something I can partake in very often. It's too much of a depressant.
? said, (256 days ago)
Heh! You should tell my wife that. She pretty much likes me drunk at social events. Introvert into extrovert. :P
thejoyofsound said, (256 days ago)
Oh I'm the same...however I feel just terrible for the few days after both physically and mentally. I still imbibe about once a week but that's tops.
adam_alligator said, (256 days ago)
I've never been drunk before...
I have a bottle of peach schnapps in my cupboard that I was given for my 18th birthday (I'm turning 20 in August), and I plan to drink it all one day, when it feels right. This will surely result in drunk me. I want to know what that feels like, purely on a chemical level.
I mostly choose not to drink alcohol. The few times I have drunk alcohol, were motivated by a combination of thirst and an expectation that the drink will genuinely taste nice.
This choice I have made is largely due to my strict mormon upbringing and the moral indoctrinations (or values) I was subjected to for years. I think absolutely more important in shaping my current attitude was the simple fact that alcohol just wasn't around for me to grow used to or taste. Mostly, it didn't exist.
I never felt drawn to it from afar, either.
And the notion people buy into, that a person has to have a few drinks before they can freely express certain parts of their nature, really makes me feel pity, and sad too.
..
I don't know what prompted this... Perhaps the time?
I love watching movies before bed though. It's relaxing.