I'm such a thug.
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No thanks!
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9 commentsReplies
Osteocephalic said, (162 days ago)
So, there's a dude, hanging out along the counter, gawking at space, far from the cashier. I looked at him for a moment, figured he was either lost or wasting time, stepped around him, and approached the cashier, who was in the back. Some other lady did likewise.
The cashier, naturally, came out, seeing people at the register. The dude starting whining about how he got here before either of us and whine whine whine. That's when I FLIPPED OUT AND ALMOST KILLED HIM.
Osteocephalic said, (162 days ago)
Cashier [to me]: "Was he here first?"
Me: "Yeah, but since he's apparently too stupid to figure out how lines work or knowledgeable enough to approach the register when he wants something, like a normal human being, she and I stepped around him."
Him [to cashier]: "Can you please call the police? This guy is threatening me and I don't like it."
Me [to him]: "Are you an idiot?"
Him [to cashier]: "See? He called me an idiot."
Me [to him]: "I'm just asking if you're an idiot. You seem to be confirming it, though."
Him [to cashier]: "I don't like being threatened in line. Fine, I'll call the police."
Me [to him]: "You've got 4 inches of height on me and about 40 pounds of weight advantage on me and by the sound of your voice, it sounds like you probably have a record."
So, he called the police as he wandered around the rear of the coffee shop, I placed my order, got my coffee, and sat down to wait for the police. I didn't have to, but I just wanted to see his face when the cops told him that there's no law against asking people if they're idiots.
Osteocephalic said, (162 days ago)
After some discussion with the dispatcher, he came around the counter and gawked at me, telling the dispatcher my physical description.
Him [to dispatcher]: "He's wearing a green shirt. About six one, maybe?"
Me [to him]: "If you want them to get here fast, you'd better big me up, dude. I'm six four. 245 pounds. I have tattoos on my neck."
After a while, I sat near the girl that was in line in front of me who witnessed it all go down. The police showed up, shooed him away, gave me one glance and left without talking to me.
The manager of the coffee house apologized to me. "I should apologize to you. I'm the one that sparked the drama. But, if people could be arrested for asking others if they're idiots, the most populous borough of New York City would be Ryker's Island."
Osteocephalic said, (162 days ago)
It's not every day that I feel like a total thug. But, today, without even telling him I was going to drag him out the back down and curbstomp him, some dude called the cops on me. For threatening him.
Because that's how motherfucking hard I am.
Oz said, (162 days ago)
Well the cops was called on my band last November when we were playing in the streets.
They were nice though and said "one more song".
Jay Def said, (162 days ago)
Cop [to him]: Please describe what happened here, sir.
Him: I was in line, and was figuring out what I wanted, and that guy went around me. When I told him that I was in line, he started threatening me!
Cop: What did he say?
Him: He called me an idiot!
Cop: Wait...that's it? Get out of here, you fucking idiot. Next time learn how a line works. Damn! *smacks him on the back of the head*
nomi oh my said, (162 days ago)
I have a feeling that dude spends a lot of his day "gawking into space" or "lost or wasting time." Kudos for giving him a clue. I mean all you can do is try to educate, right?
The Hatshepsut said, (161 days ago)
thugs n' harmony.
sorry you have to be around idiots. there should be a law against that. ;)
There was an incident at the coffee house this morning. Police were called. I am such a bad ass. When's the last time someone called the cops on you?