Super advice for virgins. That was the subject line on one of the emails in my spam folder. I'm not a virgin, dammit!

Well, I'd like to know what.

Or maybe not - just my guess.

To me, the worst kind of spam there is is the one related to jobs - I most certainly am not interested in working from home for a UK company or giving my info to a nice-looking, but suspicious company site.

Hahaha...that would have been awesome.

2. no eating during...unless it's a really good sandwich.

@retro.joe Like pastrami?

4. The top comes off BEFORE the bottoms.

With some effort, that last statement could be severely misinterpreted.

I don't think we can top "penis in vagina" unless it's super advice for gay virgins.

@no Not always.

6. Try not to laugh.

6a. If you must laugh, laugh with rather than at.

9. Breath mints not only keep your mouth fresh...

^That sounds kinda Carradine-esque...

@retro joe - my friend's roommate refers to this as "choking a bitch out".

and he has a girlfriend.

the world never ceases to depress me

10a. unless its Kinky Kong, which was practically based on a true story doncha know.

@Garak Oh snap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noBnTraU0FM

i think laughing is healthy. BUT I FREQUENTLY MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE SO SHRUG.

i mean, i am the girl who forced one of her exes into that infamous cow thong and then laughed really, really hard.

this is why i'll be single FOREVER. :C

@Naturelle Rivera You and me both sista!

13. BIRTH CONTROL

14. look at the junkies around you. realize how miserable they are. understand it's worse than heroin.

16. only fuck between the breasts, babies don't come from there