Just got this IM from OKCupid: hey baby whats up? i dont want to waste ur time so i ll just be blunt and say it im looking for some phone sex if ur interested?

tag nice 

Replies

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

Followed by

[3:14:39 pm]_Jubilee_:Has this lead you to phone sex before?

[3:14:43 pm]_Jubilee_:Im honestly curious.

[3:15:40 pm]membball84:act. yea

[3:15:47 pm]_Jubilee_:Really!?

[3:15:48 pm]_Jubilee_:Like a lot?

[3:17:35 pm]membball84:no just a lil

[3:17:47 pm]_Jubilee_:Well I admire your candor.

lol but ur just not interested rite

[3:18:12 pm]_Jubilee_:Sorry, but no.

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

I mean Craig made a good point it doesn't matter who you're phone sexing, as long as they don't have a lisp or anything.

Jamie said, (286 days ago)

No 'xoxo' at the end of the conversation?

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

what if he is INTO LISPS?

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

i wouldnt e-hug and e-kiss that guy, who knows where his e-self has been?!!?!

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

I actually interviewed with this guy who had a totally endearing lisp. Not that I'd want to phone bone him but still.

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

HEY THANKS BYE! I'M OFF TO TROLL FOR MORE PHONE SEX! love xxoo

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

Well, at least he was polite enough to but upfront and not want to waste your time.

Though he did peg you as someone who would be into phone sex with a stranger. And that's pretty rude.

I guess it's a wash then, huh?

Khaaaaan said, (286 days ago)

I had a girl try to cyber with me X-Files style. I played along thinking I could freak her out. I kept saying ridiculous nonsensical shit but she just kind of would ignore it and kept trying to be sexy. It was weird, I would say "Scully, you climb on top of me but as you do a giant fluke bursts out of my belly and starts crawling around the desk." She was undeterred. This was about 10 years ago on AIM's Xfiles chat. In a private message.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

like, is that polite though?

would it be polite if i just walked up to girls at a bar and said "hey i'm just lookin to get a blow job, i dont wanna waste your time, but are you interested? no? ok toodles!!"

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

HAH

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

Please say toodles. Like all the time.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

You're showing that you value the time of others.

However, you're also calling 'em ho's.

So, like I said. A wash.

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

I had someone tell me I owed him a "sweet beej" once.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

Besides, I'm sure that given the right person at the right level of drunkenness, that line would totally work Skanko. You just gotta feel it, gotta believe it.

Though it might work even better if you opened with "Pardon me, miss, hate to be a bother, but..."

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

@Jubilee: At which point, you introduce him to our friend Beej.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

I bet if I used a British accent and used the term "sweet beej" it would work. Or maybe if i just said "harumph harumph, pardon me madam i was Wunnnnnnnnndering if you would do me the great honor of giving me a HANNNNNND JOBBBBBB"

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

Run with it.

-j. said, (286 days ago)

Also introduce yourself as Sir Mortimer Stiffwilly.

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

That upsets me. Mostly because I've heard your British accent and it is DEPLOOOOAAARABLE.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

So he needs practice, then.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

i used to be able to do a much better british accent, you met elliot, he thought it was quite good. im very much out of practice.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

Maybe Jubilee can be the Henry Higgins to your Eliza Dolittle, Skanko. Get all the diction right, THEN go out and polite aske for ye olde hande jobbe.

-j. said, (286 days ago)

"The trick: your lips are strictly on my..."--you know what, I can't do it. I can't.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

@-j.: Good lord man. Brilliant.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

oh lord. no i am not going to troll around chicago asking for hand jobs.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

Think of it as a "social experiment".

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

Excuse me moste excellente adversary, I was wondering if I might entice you for a little manual dexterity challenge, within my moste private chambers.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

hehe private chambers.

-j. said, (286 days ago)

Skanko's gettin' himself some Canterbury Tail.

OH MAN I CAN'T STOP :( :( :(

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

ok -j. i love you.

Jubilee! said, (286 days ago)

LAWL

I've never loved you more.

Bustie said, (286 days ago)

BAHAHAHA

stuck.up said, (286 days ago)

I turn my IM off constantly.

'up for sex?'

'nice tits'

etc etc

Johnny! said, (286 days ago)

HAY JUBES, WANA DO IT? NO OK LATES.

Make Art said, (286 days ago)

@Skanko I think you overestimate the appeal of a British accent.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

@art - in college two of my best friends were from london. I saw first hand the power of a british accent on american girls, its pretty amazing actually

Make Art said, (286 days ago)

@Skanko Having found it to provide no great advantage during my visits to America, in light of your evidence I must conclude that I am a troll.

Thanks.

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

hahahahahah well art you are probably more of a gentleman than at least one of these guys, plus it was college, drunk college girls are suckers for real british guys.

once you get past that stage, from the girls i know, they are far less impressed.

Make Art said, (286 days ago)

@Skanko Given the majority of my time in America has been spent on the island of Manhattan, it's not exactly a big surprise I wasn't considered to be exotic. Plus I was drunk a lot of the time. New York caters for my decadent side with deadly efficiency.

Make Art said, (286 days ago)

< / delusional excuses >

Skanko said, (286 days ago)

oh yeah, nyc girls really arent surprised by anything. except brutal honesty. and that wont get you far.

Post a Reply

To leave a comment, create an account!