Why hello there, technically inclined GTIers, I need your help. My computer is hosed, basically. I need to reinstall Windows. I don't have anything that came with the computer. Help, help, help, please.

You need a local friend with a working computer and a CD or DVD burner.

Well, Corey's option is a valid one, if you're willing to risk it (and OK with the fact that it'll expire eventually).

Does your current computer boot at all? It's possible that you can get replacement discs and/or license keys. Check this article for more info:

http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;326246