I gave him 6 months. If he goes on meds, should i give him longer?
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17 commentsReplies
SomethingForgetful said, (37 days ago)
Agreed. I have never been on medication for mental issues before and I wanted to be completely fair.
SomethingForgetful said, (37 days ago)
He has some sort of depression. He has low lows, and no highs.
It has been tough on our marriage.
He was attending therapy, but we haven't seen any improvements.
Centropomus said, (37 days ago)
I think when you get married, the threshold jumps to one year, if he's making a serious effort. Is he making a serious effort, or just going through the motions?
SomethingForgetful said, (37 days ago)
Just going through the motions. That is why there hasn't been an improvement.
emm said, (37 days ago)
How many months has he already been given? And wasted by just going through the motions?
linty said, (37 days ago)
I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who is on meds. That's just me.
strangerbox said, (37 days ago)
sometimes antidepressants can give people with serious depression the boost they need to work productively in therapy. depending on which medication it is, you'll know within 2 weeks to 2 months whether or not it's working.
SomethingForgetful said, (37 days ago)
he has been in therapy 4 months. It hasnt had an effect.
He was on anti-depressants before when we were dating and we broke up briefly due to them changing his behavior.
I wanted to make sure i was being fair and giving him enough time to cope. i want to support him in any decision he makes.
strangerbox said, (37 days ago)
it's pretty common for people to have to try a few different meds before they find the right one for them. i think it's great that you want to be supportive and give him another chance, just don't forget to take care of yourself too.
beccah. said, (37 days ago)
What SB said. It can take a few med trials to see which one fits best... make sure he doesn't go back on the one that gave him behaviour changes before.
Centropomus said, (37 days ago)
SSRIs affect people differently, just like birth control. What's good for one person may be awful for another, and vice versa. Lexapro is becoming the drug of first choice for certain kinds of anxiety and depression, since it has problematic side effects for fewer people than Paxil or Effexor, but there are still plenty of people who need to try something else.
It's possible that a different drug will make enough of a difference that he'll make an effort at therapy. If that's the case, you should notice in a couple months. It's also possible that he'll make you miserable no matter what he's on, so don't drag it out forever.
SomethingForgetful said, (37 days ago)
Yeah i am giving his 8 months, all told. If in that time, all the problems haven't been resolved and we don't feel like we've come back to an even keel, i will file for divorce and seek other arrangements.
Painful....very.
neccessary...even moreso.
Why would you give him longer? Six months is a long time already; more time waiting for him to be good enough for you is time lost, in my opinion.