Three reasons I need a boyfriend: I need someone to keep me from fucking up while building ikea bookshelves, I need someone to fix the fuse on our garbage disposal, I need someone to make sure I shaved the back of my left leg. PEACE.
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8 commentsReplies
Centropomus said, (50 days ago)
You're looking for a guy who's handy with tools *and* is highly observant about matters of feminine grooming? That's a bit of a tall order, but I'll see what I can do.
low-spoke said, (50 days ago)
I can do all those things, but I won't be your boyfriend. I prefer to be paid in homemade pastries
Essie said, (49 days ago)
That's cool, especially the Ikea part. I tend to stick to dudes in their late teens, anyway, because they think weird sexual stuff is standard.
scurvyman said, (49 days ago)
So, I'm already spoken for, but if you ever need non-commital IKEA assistance, let me know. That shit is crack for adults that grew up loving legos.
Essie said, (49 days ago)
Every time I build something from Ikea, even with the assistance of a level, it looks lopsided and unusable. A few years ago, I was driving down some street in a San Fernando Valley neighborhood, and on the side of the road stood a half-completed Ikea desk with a sign that said "FREE. Gave up."
I want a boyfriend to brush my hair, drive me places and change my windshield wipers. kthnxbai.