excessive realism in sexual fantasies
I was listening to You Look Nice Today recently when they discussed the following:
"I've had an issue lately with, you know, those fantasy type things ... where I have no less libido than I had 5 years ago but my fantasies have gotten ... out of hand. I mean that I now have to do so much in my fantasies with this other person before we can have sex. Like I can't just have sex with this other person now. We have to, you know, go shopping or something first, like in rigorous, painful detail ... or else it just seems rude."
Does anyone else find that this has also happened to them? What the hell does it signify?
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Matt Potato said, (56 days ago)
From the link ... heh
"For years I’ve had a nighttime fantasy where I’m stranded on an island with an attractive woman. We fill our days with the only activity not requiring a whole lot of equipment and learning. The sex, that is.
I revisited recently, after a long time away from Satisfaction Island. Everything went well, except I felt I had to introduce the situation by first explaining how we ended up on the island, where the others were, and how we got past the initial shock. I had to establish reliable sources of food and water, and explain why the weather is always excellent.
Then I thought about this woman. She would obviously need to give full consent—nay, approach me first—and while I can believe that she would reach out for me the very first night, looking for some comfort, I knew that this would probably make for a rocky long-term relationship ..."
0guninnayouface0 said, (55 days ago)
they've fucked our heads so much, we can't even have it the way we want in our fantasies.
hterosexuality is a fucking miserable lifestyle
Matt Potato said, (55 days ago)
@0get2dachoppa0 - I don't blame women for it. I mean I know it's your -thing- and stuff. I don't even think it's a bad thing necessarily ... I just think it's kinda funny.
You need 100ccs of oxytocin.
Matt Potato said, (55 days ago)
On an unrelated note we're about to get a storm that's black on the weather radar. Last time that happened we got hail the size of apples (like jonathans rather than fujis but still). I'm unplugging everything I own and hoping to live through it.
Corey Hart said, (55 days ago)
It's called inhibition. Perhaps also prudishness.
You're not "supposed" to just have sex, you have to court them first. If you don't, you're morally corrupt or some such nonsense.
0guninnayouface0 said, (55 days ago)
"courtship"
there's a really good episode of Morel Orel about that
CocktailsMalIntent said, (55 days ago)
This hasn't ever been a problem for me. i've never even considered setting the scene really.
Matt Potato said, (55 days ago)
@Corey - You're probably onto something but it doesn't address why it's started happening as I've gotten older. I certainly don't feel like I'm becoming more inhibited and I was never a prude. The tendency to over-analyse things from an ethical standpoint is there though.
@0get2dachoppa0 - Heh. I'm in Australia ... we can get nasty weather 9 months of the year. Fortunately this cell passed 5km (3mi?) to the west and my garden lives to fight (and get eaten) another day.
Corey Hart said, (55 days ago)
@matt: I think it's common for most people to feel that they should become ever-more ethical and moral as they get older.
I wonder if it's related to Oxytocin.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin#Actions_of_oxytocin_within_the_brain