My god, somebody living in or near my apartment building has purchased a small barky dog. This is the worst thing for a neighbor to purchase. What do I do?

Use the banjo like a golf club and drive the dog into the next town. Or lull the dog to sleep with soothing banjo music.

Hmmm, better make it the first one.

Purchase a large bitey dog.

barky darks!

Oh, I've given it a month. I figured maybe someone was just taking care of someone else's dog or something. But no, the dog seems permanent.

But yeah, I don't want to cause too much trouble, especially because I'm perpetually a few months away from moving out of this place. Mostly I just wear headphones.

Well, it's not every day... I think. Either that, or I've blocked it out to the point where I don't always notice it. I really think it's the next building over -- it's audible, but not loud.

I mean, who knows what people can live with? My father and sister owned some fairly barky dogs when I was growing up -- I got used to it. I didn't have much choice in the matter. I mean, some people live with birds. It's inconceivable to me -- if a bird gets into my house, my first question is how to get it out.

(Fortunately, a bird has never gotten into my house.)

I... have trouble with animals. I get along with them well enough, as long as they're not living in the same house as me. When my relatives had dogs (which they made little or no effort to train), I remember briefly considering doing it myself, but a) I resented their unilateral act of dog-acquiring, and b) it's just not my thing. I have trouble dealing with anyone or anything that doesn't understand what you're saying to it.

snail pellets through the letterbox