here's where we spout favorite simpsons quotations / moments.
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27 commentsReplies
fuznotfuz said, (119 days ago)
Homer: Me like beer.
Linguo (grammar robot):*I* like beer.
Homer: Aww, he likes beer! (pours some in robot’s mouth)
Lisa: DAD! This is why I can’t have nice things!
Jay Def said, (119 days ago)
Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah?
Homer: See, I have this friend. Joey...Jo Jo...Jr...Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
(Man in bar runs out the door sobbing uncontrollably.)
Barney: Hey Joey Jo Jo!
FiZ said, (119 days ago)
@Jay Def: I make restaurant reservations under that name- with a straight face, no less.
It's either that or Abe Froman.
Jay Def said, (119 days ago)
@FiZ - Hahaha...both of those are awesome!
Next time I have to wait in line at a resteraunt (at least one that doesn't have one of those electronic buzz things) I'm going to do that, so they have to call out "Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo, party of 4!"
"What is a wedding? The dictionary defines it as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden'."
le_sacre said, (119 days ago)
space shuttle ants (subtitled):
"protect the queen!"
"which one's the queen?"
"i'm the queen."
"no you're not."
[crash]
"aaaiiiiiee! freedom, horrible freedom!"
le_sacre said, (119 days ago)
art prof: "you have real talent!"
marge: "do you really think so? my high school art teacher hated them."
art prof: "what?! the man was a fool. but still, one must admire the force of his convictions."
Lionel Hutz (smugly, having just examined a single witness): "I rest my case."
judge (incredulously): "You rest your case??"
Hutz panicking: "What? No! I thought that was just a figure of speech! (smugly again) Case closed."
Hutz is cross-examining Apu about his memory. He turns his back to the witness stand.
Hutz: "What colour tie am I wearing?"
Apu: "You are wearing a red and white striped tie, tied in a Windsor knot."
(This is true.)
Hutz (clearly struggling to pull his tie off: So that's what you think, is it? Unf. Because if that is what you think--ungh--I have a surprise for you. Urf. Something that will shock and discredit you. Unh. And that thing is as follows. (turning around, his tie missing and his collar open) I'm not wearing a tie at all!
Stunned murmurs throughout the courtroom.
Apu: But if I am wrong about that, perhaps I am wrong about Mrs. Simpson as well!
Hutz (waving off judge, with a red and white striped tie hanging out of his sleeve) No more questions, your Honour.
le_sacre said, (119 days ago)
burns: "now, before i post the starting lineup, i want to assure those of you whose names are not on the list that i'm very disappointed in you. something was lacking... let's call it 'heart.'"
Darryl Strawberry: "no hussle, either, skip."
burns: "that's right, Darryl!"
Pretty much everything Hutz did was gold.
Hutz: I move for a bad...court...thingy.
Judge: You mean a 'mistrial'?
Hutz: Hey, you're the judge, and I'm the law...talkin'...guy.
le_sacre said, (119 days ago)
"as of this moment, lionel hutz no longer exists. say hello to miguel sanchez!"
Homer is seeking a babysitter, and hears a knock at the door.
Hutz: "I was rummaging through your garbage outside just now, and couldn't help overhear that you need your babysitter. Of course I will be charging my usual fee of two hundred dollars an hour."
Homer: "You get eight bucks for the whole night and two popsicles from the fridge."
Hutz: "Three popsicles."
Homer: "Two."
Hutz: "Alright, two, but I get to keep this old birdcage I found in your trash."
Homer: "Done."
Hutz (straightening tie, smugly): "Still got it."
portableteejay said, (119 days ago)
ALIEN: Uh... I bring you love.
LENNY: It's bringing love! Don't let it get away!
CARL: Break its legs!
(Everyone charges for the alien holding bats and crowbars.)
portableteejay said, (119 days ago)
Homer: Lisa, I've had it with you and your stories. "Bart's a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that... building thingy... where our beds and TV... is.
WordNerd said, (119 days ago)
skinner: children, I'll be frank. in the event of nuclear war, we can only save our best and brightest. therefore, space in the fallout shelter will be reserved for: lisa simpson, martin prince, our championship kickball team, and sherri, but not terri.
nelson: ha ha!
Skinner is trapped in a vent at the snowbound school.
Skinner: "Get me out of here!"
Bart: "Hear that, everyone? He says he wants the pee-bucket on his head!"
Skinner: "No! You're twisting my words!"
fuznotfuz said, (119 days ago)
Smarmy Lawyer: If released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: (Fake Surprised) Bart Simpson?! (Chuckle) The spirited little scamp who (Bitter) twice foiled my evil schemes, and sent me to this (More bitter; Ominous) dank, urine-soaked hell hole?
Parole Board Member #1: Ah, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell hole", when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck hole".
Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Lawyer: Well, what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die, Bart die?"
Sideshow Bob: No! That's German for "The Bart, the."
(Parole Board Chuckles; Talks among themselves)
Parole Board Member #2: (To friend) No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Last Parole Board Member: Parole granted!
le_sacre said, (118 days ago)
homer (in 'homer's funny fake voice'): "hello, my name is mr. burns. i believe you have a letter for me."
post office guy: "ok, mr. burns. what's your first name?"
homer: "i don't know."
man, that one doesn't work at all without Dan Castellaneta's voice.
I think I posted this one last time, but whatever:
Robert Goulet: "Are you sure my manager said this was okay?"
Nelson (brandishing fist): "Your manager said to SHUT UP."
Robert Goulet: "Vera said that??"
le_sacre said, (118 days ago)
repeats are not only acceptable, they are encouraged. i mean, i have seasons 2-17 on my hard drive and will go through periods where i just keep them playing in the background at all times when i am home.
though seasons 13-17 are... not so good. but still good background material.
le_sacre said, (117 days ago)
(explaining to the kids how they wound up landing naked in a hot air balloon in the middle of a packed football stadium)
marge: you see, sometimes moms and dads get a little... accustomed to each other.
homer: dads especially.
bart: "dad! there's more to me than just a catch phrase."
homer: "how do you figure, boy?"