An actual question from an employment application..
..that I'm applying for.
If you had to place a dollar amount on the property that you have taken throughout your lifetime, what would that amount be? This amount should also include any theft from an employer, including, but not limited to pens, paper, other office supplies. Please provide the dollar amount below and describe the items taken.
What would you say to this?
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No thanks!
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20 commentsReplies
soulcamp said, (84 days ago)
Do you want the value of the company car before or after I accidentally drove it into the next door neighbor's swimming pool?
soulcamp said, (84 days ago)
Seriously - I've never heard of anything like this. I would make up an amount - $683.41 - then write up an itemized "list" detailing each item and its respective value, to the penny. The more ridiculous, the better. Either the question is a joke or you don't want to have anything to do with these people.
beccah. said, (84 days ago)
@pepper: yea.. except you have to or your disqualified from the process. There are some real zingers.. I might post more later..
I think I'd say a dozen pens, some scrap paper, a copy or seven, and about 8000 paper clips (I tend to twist them into things).
But that's not an actual account.. because who the fuck knows that shit?
beccah. said, (84 days ago)
@souly: it's a subsection of the police department.. I suspect that's why it's so... bizarre.
Centropomus said, (84 days ago)
I stole a pack of tic-tacs from a store when I was two, before I understood the concept. I've also taken ~$100 worth of equipment from work, all of it authorized, since it was obsolete relative to the equipment in the office, of no substantial marketable value, but still useful in a home test rig, which they knew I would use when working from home.
strangerdangerbox said, (84 days ago)
here's what you say: "once when i was leaving job X, my boss gave me [some trivial item] to take home as a going-away present. i felt sort of guilty but i took it anyway, and it was worth X dollars. that's the only thing i've ever taken from an employer."
soulcamp said, (84 days ago)
@beccah: Ah, I see. This is how they keep the real "loonies" out of the department.
Just answer how you did here - I think that's about the best you can do.
Centropomus said, (84 days ago)
I've probably accidentally taken some pens home, but this is encouraged, because the pens have our logo on it, and the brand awareness people want them spread around anyway. Micromanaging pens is not considered cost-effective, especially since we do all our interesting work on computers anyway.
khaaaaansumating said, (84 days ago)
I'd say, ".20 cents for pens, I guess" and hope that was a good answer.
Or like, "Well I haven't done much pricing at Staples lately, but I'd say ... ohhhhhhh .... about .20 for a couple of pens!"
khaaaaansumating said, (84 days ago)
If I did an itemized list of things that I stole, I would do another itemized list of time that various employers and companies have done from me.
Making me wait around for my paycheck on several occasions: $50
Asking me to stay late while not punched into the clock: $27
Calling me at home to ask a question about work: $39
and so on.
Turn the tables a bit.
khaaaaansumating said, (84 days ago)
Office supplies I brought to work because you wouldn't provide me with it, and I let everyone else use: $215
daisy half-wit said, (84 days ago)
When I applied at Old Navy they asked me a question like that on the application and the interview. They even asked a question that was something like "Have you ever thought about stealing from an employer? If so, how often?" I answered no and that was a lie.
I day dream a lot, and I personally didn't know I had to be responsible for my day dreams. I've never stolen monetary amounts from an employer, or even a ton of supplies. But I have had day dreams of, man, if I were slicker, sure, why not? But I never had actually done it and really have no plans to.
soulcamp said, (84 days ago)
Considering the source of the question, I would say it's more a byproduct of bureaucratic stupidity than a reflection of those with whom you'll be working directly for/with. Answer it as honestly as you can and free of any snark.
Chrome Raven said, (84 days ago)
stolen:
10 pens, disposable ~ $2.00?
1 pad post-it notes ~ $1.00?
~30 blank business cards ~ $3.00?
The only effective floor manager - I am unsure what the market cost of re-starting a chain video game store from scratch is.
there's no good way to answer this- say you took nothing and you're clearly lying, but to list everything... i mean, really?
i feel like this is a question i'd decline to answer directly.