I'm an explainer. And this is not a good thing.
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Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
Trying to get away from this tendency. I'm about the least impulsive person I know. So I have a proof for just about everything I do and all the important aspects of my personality.
Whenever how I act confuses someone, I can tell them PRECISELY why I act that way. Or damn near close. And I get freaked out by sontanaeity sometimes.
Anyhow, the girlfriend impulsively decided to get her septum pierced yesterday, and it freaked me out and I handled it poorly.
Bump number one.
Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
And by decided to, I mean did it and called me and said
"Hey, come over, I have a surprise for you."
Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
@ABNA- Nope. And that's why I didn't handle it as well as I could. She didn't tell anyone but her roomate (who she went and got it done with... they both did) until after the fact.
Her mom was not pleased, so she looked to me for validation. And in my shock I couldn't give it to her. And honestly, still am not going to. *shrug* Of all the piercings she could have gotten...
ABoyNamedArt said, (77 days ago)
You could express her support by giving her a little bell to complete the ensemble, no?
Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
But anyhow, I tried talking to her about why it freaked me out, and that never seems to go well for me. I let myself foret what things are under my control in this situation, and I thought I had her more figured out than I do.
So it's a learning thing. It's a good thing. And I need to let myself be entertained by things like this instead of paralyzed with fear that something is changing without me being made aware of it.
Skanko said, (77 days ago)
@pt - hey man if u aren't into it, you shouldn't tell you u are, i mean in the end its her choice, and you shouldn't tell her what to do, but you don't have to pretend you like it either.
ABoyNamedArt said, (77 days ago)
I guess in the end the question is, is this still the girl you like? If the answer, overall, is 'yes,' than it shouldn't be that hard to go on, right?
Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
@ABNA- Bahaha. Oh well. It's a good thing that I don't already know what to expect from her. And that she does things that I never will be able to predict. Complete predictability is boring. And this really isn't a big deal. I just handled it poorly, as I said. It gave me a little perspective. Was a learning experience.
Previous Toast said, (77 days ago)
@Skanko- Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to turn around and be happy she got it. But I'm a lot more okay with it now, since I've had some time to rationalize it and put it into perspective. I just didn't expect to have to do it on the fly like that.
@ABNA- Yeah. Not a huge deal. And I still like her a lot. I'm just used to being able to think things out, and connect the dots of motivation to rational thought. I don't deal with a lot of people who feel and then act. :) So it's a good thing.
CocktailsMalIntent said, (77 days ago)
I'm the same way for the most part, though i think i'm a little more relaxed about reacting to other people being spontaneous. it took me a lot of time of "accepting the things i cannot change" practice.
Could you elaborate?