Somebody handed me change today and I started freaking out! Why? Because they clasped my hand to do so! The sensation was so odd, I realize, because I have not had any sort of physical contact in two weeks!
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Is this why you act like an awkwardly-jointed board whenever I try to hug you?
Of course that's why! I have no idea how to move my own body in relation to anything or anyone else.

I hugged my parents goodbye two weeks ago. Since then...?