One time my chihuahua got into my mom's cocaine.
I like!
No thanks!
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26 commentsReplies
Pagne said, (104 days ago)
It was 2000 and we had a six month old chihuahua. One morning I went downstairs and found her gnawing on something. Upon further inspection I saw that it was a small plastic baggie filled with mysterious white powder. First thing's first: PANIC.
I examined the bag and though it had tiny indents all over it from Menudo's baby teeth, she didn't appear to have penetrated the bag. I washed her mouth out anyways, just to be sure, and kept a close eye on her all morning to watch for signs; excessive panting, rapid breathing, a sudden desire to start wearing leather and form a rock band.
Fortunately, Menudo survived without incident. When my mom woke up that afternoon I proceeded to ask her what the fuck my puppy was doing with a bag of blow. Her answer? "Oh. It must have been your grandma's coke."
The Scarlet Fuz said, (104 days ago)
And here I was trying to imagine something yappier than a chihuahua, but a chihuahua on coke wins the prize!
Angus MacSmitey said, (104 days ago)
I'm sorry for not having caught this earlier, but your Chihuahua is named Menudo?
HAHAHAHA.
Also, I'm glad that your poor puppy didn't suffer any ill effects and got to grow up to be David Crosby.
nomi oh my said, (104 days ago)
Hah, I thought you were talking about Tweak, who would then be very aptly named. Tell me a tweak story! Will you be bringing him with when you come up here?
Pagne said, (104 days ago)
@CM: Yes Menudo was my first dog. I got her when I was 19, just before I moved to California. That's where I got Tweak. He's from south central LA actually.Maybe it was all the coke, but Menudo turned into a fucking nightmare when I brought Tweak home. So when I moved back to AZ the next year, she went to live with my sister and Tweak lives with me.
Now that I'm staying with her temporarily though, it's a big pain in the ass because Menudo still fuckin hates every living creature.
Pagne said, (104 days ago)
@Nomi: Yes tweak will definitely be coming with me. I've had him for about 7 years now and we're completely co-dependent. In fact, my apartment search is going miserably just because of this 8 pound furry sack of poo.
SF seems to be very anti-dog. Which is weird because I thought every gay couple was required to have a little dog. Anyhoo, when I use "dogs" to filter my apartment searches, it seems to double what I'm looking at for rent. :
I'll find a place. I have to. He's part of my family. But my options are quite limited because of that little shit.
T.S. Eliot said, (104 days ago)
Lucky puppy. Moose (my chihuahua) got into chocolate a few days ago and the poor thing is ill and wont even eat cheese.
It was less than an ounce of mike chocolate though so I think she will be fine.
Pagne said, (104 days ago)
@Ghostie: Aww poor Moose. :( I hope he feels better soon. Also, did you know you can give white chocolate to dogs? It contains hardly any theobromine, which is what makes dogs sick. The darker the chocolate, the worse it is for them. But with tiny dogs I suppose it's always better to err on the side of caution and just stick to dog food.
Moose Elaine said, (104 days ago)
Don't put the dog requirement in craigslist - it's a pain, but some places won't check off the "dogs ok" part when they're filling out the ad. My place didn't say specifically "cats ok" but when I went to check the place they said cats and dogs welcome.
Also, that story is cracking me up.
Moose Elaine said, (104 days ago)
AND my upstairs neighbor just told me the story of when her cat had some coke (left on the bathroom counter by an inconsiderate party-goer), and how the cat ran back and forth for about twenty minutes, bouncing off the walls, and then threw up three times.
Chanelly said, (103 days ago)
Menudo doesn't look like David Crosby, you take it back! She's my beautiful lump of cuteness!
Jay Def said, (103 days ago)
@Chanelly - I shouldn't be mean. Menudo actually seemed to kinda like me. :D
Pagne said, (102 days ago)
@nomi: Yes, don't let them get into the coke. Also, chihuahuas can be really obnoxious if you're not used to them. Basically they are tiny attention whores. All they really want is love and protection. They love human contact, so even if you don't feel like playing with or petting them, just let them on your lap and they;ll be content to curl up there and nap. Plus, almost all chihuahuas have a thing about burrowing. If you give them a little blanket or towel, they'll crawl under it and you won't see them for hours. Mine even wedges himself between the couch cushions. Which reminds me- always sit down gently if there's a chihuahua in the house and you can't see it.
Jay Def said, (102 days ago)
@Pagne - Yes, exactly! My roommmates half-chihuahua half-rat terrier does the burrowing thing. Sometimes when shes on her computer in what would normally be the dining room, he burrows into a blanket behind her. After a few times of me tripping over him when I walked in there, if he hears me coming, he comes running out of there making as much noise as he can.
nomi oh my said, (102 days ago)
@Pagne: this basically sums up EVERYTHING his owned told me! That if you let him in bed, he burrows under the covers and curls up right next to you, and if you are sitting on the couch, he will be in your lap, no matter what. If you aren't petting him, he'll nuzzle up on your neck, so if you get tired of it you need to say "go lay down" and he will. He's a very good boy! A bit preoccupied with finding food, and skittish around new people and animals, but such a good boy.
JasAsian v2.0 said, (102 days ago)
@Pange/Chelly - hey, is Menudo named after the soup...or the band?
This is an old one, but good.