Boys chime in... If a guy dumps a girl, and says he's not ready for a relationship at all, but wants to still hang out... should the girl EVER think that they are just confused and really DO want a relationship but just don't know what they want?

Because my friend just got dumped, and they'd only dated three weeks and she is planning to keep hanging out with him and thinks he'll totally change his mind and fall head over heels, and I was trying to be realistic and tell her that it probably wasn't a good idea to hang out with him right now because she's still completely gaga over him and I don't want to see her get hurt, and then she basically just told me that I'm a cold-hearted very guarded person who just doesn't understand and that I'm incredibly pessimistic.

I see myself as a realist who has been hurt before and won't put up with shit anymore. And I don't want to see my friends get hurt.

SOME PERSPECTIVE, PLEASE.

I'm avoiding the girl I'm crazy over b/c I don't have the money or time for a relationship. It's a practical matter when one wants things to work long term, I think.

I don't know if we want to admit this, but yeah, love might be more about economics - money and power and order - than anyone wants to conceive.

BYGONES is a really weird word when written out, and for some reason it makes me think of GONADS.

I told her she needs to flat out ask him if he would EVER want a relationship with her. Because that's basically what she wants, and it sounds like she wants to wait around until he decides he wants to be with her, and I don't know that that will EVER happen.

And I waited around for YEARS for a boy once (who later came out and is gay and that just adds a whole other ton of OUCH to the situation) and it hurt so much and I would never ever wish that for any of my friends.

Maybe I am just a really guarded ice-princess bitch. WHATEVER. I don't let guys fuck me over. Which might explain why I am always single... uhaadfhadfgadfgaegaegadhdafg!!

THANK YOU, BOYS!!!

I felt like such a bitch when I got home tonight after trying to talk some sense into her. I think that's basically because she inferred that I was one. UGH.

This girl had been single for at least six months before dating this guy (and had been for two years before the previous boy), and said to be like a month ago, "I never want to have such long gaps between boys again." So, I reminded her tonight that she'd said that and that if she didn't want that to happen again, then she should try to move on and keep dating while she's got the hang of things. I don't know if anything could have pissed her off more.

I'm just never going to be the girl who tells her friends, "Oooh, girl. He is going to call you up next week and totally regret everything and want to get back with you because that's what you deserve!" Because the chances of that happening are SO SLIM and I just feel like it's mean to offer false hope.

I hope in the long-run she realizes this. When she dropped me off tonight, she was basically like, "I love you, even though you're such a bitch."

@ erica: I'm fairly confident that I did the right thing. She just didn't want to hear it, and was a tiny bit mean about it.

Also, I got REALLY grumpy about the Miranda thing because it really just felt like she called me an ugly lesbian with a hairy bush :(

I dont normally do this but feel sort of compelled to ask this question. So me and a girl have been in a relationship for the last 2 months it is going really good for a while than some things happens with her family and now she wants to break up. because of the issues with her family. She has to deal with the issues, told me she still loves and cares for me, we still get along great and I would say that she still really cares for me. Do you guys think its over? Give me your guys insights, words of encouragement or any other random thought you have.

yeah im not sure what to tell you here, so many people are insincere when they say something like that that i cant even begin to know what he means.

@cocktails: I kind of figured that too in my head I just think that in her head she wants us to still be but I think she is trying to protect me from things but I think in a couple weeks things will change.

I did practically the same thing to one of my friends and got labeled as Miranda too! Girls are stupid... and I can say that because I am a girl.