How come Apple stores only hire people who look like this?

Because Apples are only used by young, obnoxious hipsters. Everyone knows that.

Actually, most Apple store staff I see is stocked with pretty, vapid, young blonds who tell you to wait as they fetch one of the only two people in the store who know anything.

I don't look like either of those

You forgot option c:
http://goteaminternet.com/img/icons/3739.jpg

Plus what FiZ said.

sidebar: did you ever think that only the hipster type applys at apple? I've seen some normals at our local (see 3 hours away) Apple store.

They don't. You should see the tragic looking fools that work at the Palo Alto Apple store.

oh man they do not look like that here in montreal. They were all young and zitty and all G'd up under those blue shirts. and horribly excited about gadgets.

I have these two friends who EVERY TIME they go into and A&F they get asked if they want jobs there.