There is nothing like starting a fight at a Waffle House at 3am.

That's pretty good. I started one at the midnight preview of Iron Man.

Waffle House is a restaurant, open 24 hours, which is especially dangerous in a town full of drunken douchebags like mine.

Paully: No shit? Details, man.

cool. how were the waffles?

So we head to Casa de Waffle after having a few at the bars. It's 230-300 in a college town on a Saturday night, so things are a little busy.

This guy comes in and starts bitching about how he's there every night of the week, he knows almost all the waitresses, blah blah blah and he's pissed that this table isn't clean. The table emptied 30 seconds before he got there. He keeps going on like a douche, so I say "Dude, it's Waffle House. Chill the fuck out", to which the waitress says "Seriously." as she comes over to clean off the table. He starts getting mouthy to me about how he's some big time WH customer; I keep pointing out his high level of douche. He actually calls dudes who are standing outside (shirtless, I might add) to come over and look at me through the windows. I blow kisses at them.

So as I get up to pay my check, I glance over towards the moron, who proceeds to tell me that he wants to kiss my ass. I tell him not to worry, I'll fuck him later if he asks nice. He proceeds to get pissed, stand up, get restrained, tells me that he's there every night so come back and see him, blah blah. I tell him if he doesn't play nice, I won't use any lube when he gets home, blow him kisses, and leave.

Having worked in food service my whole life, I really can't stand when guys are dicks to waitstaff for no reason, and getting pissed that a table isn't clear at 245 on a Saturday night when you've been standing there for 14 seconds is no reason to start berating wait staff.