HALP
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24 commentsReplies
more pepper! said, (49 days ago)
mmm grammar jokes. i like.
i have to tell nerd jokes tonight and so far i have some real groaners. where are the comedy writers????
Corey Hart said, (49 days ago)
I made up a joke that nobody seems to get:
Someone should open a bar and call it f00.
(pause)
It'd be the place where everyone knows you're lame!
scurvyman said, (49 days ago)
There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't!
Corey Hart said, (49 days ago)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foobar
basically, they're commonly used nonsensical "words" used as placeholders when a programmer writes some pseudocode or an example.
Carlo said, (49 days ago)
Descartes is having a drink at a bar. The bartender asks him if he needs another drink. Descartes says, "I think not" and POOF! He disappears.
more pepper! said, (49 days ago)
carlo, that's a winner.
thank you.
the rest of these are good, but not appropriate for a "standup" style delivery.
scurvyman said, (49 days ago)
@CH: True! I totally overlooked that request when I was skimming the thread
@MP: Sorry!
Hot_Rod said, (49 days ago)
waffle house is from earth-1 and huddle house is from earth-2.
only comic nerds would get this one. it's not even that funny
actually it's pretty pathetic
H55 said, (48 days ago)
"I have decided the motto on my family's coat of arms will be either "Nullam pecuniam, nullum mellem" or "Duo in rosam, unum in putentum"."
H55 said, (48 days ago)
(I do not take credit for that one. A very good, very brilliant, and very strange friend of mine makes far too many latin jokes. But I still love the guy)
JasAsian v2.0 said, (48 days ago)
A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, NO CHARGE."
JasAsian v2.0 said, (48 days ago)
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
More here:
http://www.coolscience.org/CoolScience/CoolJokes/ChemJokes.htm
Laydee Ohracuhl said, (48 days ago)
Why can't you have sex with a quantum physicist?
Because when you find the right position you can't get the momentum and when you finally get the momentum you can't find the right position.
little p said, (48 days ago)
okay, okay...
What do you call DNA whose duplications produce incongruous and/or contradictory results?
deoxyribonucleic-moron
(that's my go-to crowd pleaser)
more pepper! said, (48 days ago)
guys, you would have enjoyed this show. vernon wells was there.
good times.
Branwell said, (48 days ago)
Maybe it's just my ignorance of popular culture, but I had no idea who that guy was. I mean, I guess he was a character actor who played Australian villains in movies where Australians were villains? That's what I gathered, anyway.
Fun show, though!
Laydee Ohracuhl said, (46 days ago)
I made a really terrible quantum joke the other day. I doubt people will get this, but...
"My teacher once explained to us the unfortunate naming of bra and ket symbols. 'This is a bra and this is a ket. Don't ask me why they named it this way, they just did."
"Did it make your Eigenvector rise?"
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the ends of its paws and a comma's a clause at the end of a pause.