When he raises his voice at me, I ask him if he's angry. Then, he gets angry at me because I asked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zInCs634aYw

Maybe he's not aware of what he's doing-and you pointing it out demonstrated a lack of self-awareness he feels he ought to have...and then; drama.

i don't know any details or context, but generally speaking, don't try to fix people, just move on.

Listen... some people just raise their voices. It's part of how they talk; it doesn't mean anything. Growing up, my family was always shouting at each other; we thought nothing of it, because we all knew it was just for emphasis. I've had similar problems with people who aren't used to that kind of thing; I'm trying to emphasize something, and they always think it's a big deal or something. Then...

...well, then I get SOMETHING, but I wouldn't call it "angry" exactly. One part frustrated that the thing I have always done to convey an emotion is apparently conveying a completely different thing to a person I thought I understood, and one part upset and/or apologetic at the inaccurate impression I'm giving.

Which I guess could come off as "angry" to someone who's already inclined to see things as angrier than they are.

I mean, I could be wrong. I don't know this guy. This could be something entirely different from my thing; this guy actually could be angry. But speaking as someone who is entirely aware he shouts with little or no provocation, doesn't mean anything by it, pretty much can't help it, and feels absolutely awful when people read things into it that aren't there... well, I say you need to figure out exactly what all this means, and if the guy's not really angry when he does this, stop worrying about it. Everybody needs to learn how to read everybody. Anyway, as upsetting as it is when someone thinks I'm angry for (what seems to me) no reason, it's ten times worse when it's someone who I thought had some idea how I operated.

(I don't raise my voice as much as I used to, I think -- probably on account of the fact that I don't live with my family. I live alone and spend time around friends, and most of those guys don't raise their voices much. So there may be hope for that too, at least in the long term...)