I think all men should move away from New Jersey

Oh please. Like I'd be involved in a relationship for that long. I'm safe where I am.

When you set up a relationship in which you are the financial support of someone else, ripping that support away from them is impossible to recover from in time to, say, pay your rent. if you don't want it to happen to you, don't agree or act in a way that makes you their financial support.

@PT: in most cases, it's a stay at home parent who gets divorced. she hasn't held a job in, let's say, a decade, and has no savings that are purely their own. is it fair to make them immediately responsible for any bills that they, until the divorce, could rely on the working partner to pay for in exchange for their work in the home? sorry, you've been divorced, pay that mortgage now or lose you house. we don't care that you haven't worked since the reagan administration and are, thusly, not really hirable. get on it.

the system REALLY FUCKING WORKS

that wouldn't bother me at all actually.

Sorry Cocktails, I just don't see it that. Just because you've allowed yourself to become helpless and somebody cares about you enough to try to help, does not mean they are then OBLIGATED to help you forever.

And this wasn't a marriage, there were no kids, they didn't cohabitate.

Lets say every day you walked by a bum and gave him some food, you befriended him, and he became dependent on that food. Then one day your way to work changed and you didn't walk by him anymore, would you want him being able to sue you for a few meals a day?

"if you don't want it to happen to you, don't agree or act in a way that makes you their financial support."

Cause no good deed goes unpunished! How fucked up is that!

The problem is that since marriage is not longer the be-all end-all of the relationships in this country, the courts have to decide how they want to handle situations where there is no marriage and there are no kids, but one partner was still dependent on the other for their life.

i mean, christ, this dude paid for her apartment for seven years. there are states where that would qualify as common-law marriage.

I live in NJ. She was his "mistress" for 20 years. I can understand, perhaps she thinks she gave him the best years of his life...she was a kept woman until he decided not to keep her anymore...seems a bit far-fetched but...the guidelines of marriage are pretty scant, honestly I don't understand marriage for any other reason then financial advantage.

I don't view her as either helpless or a victim. i see her as an employee of this guy who deserves either a severance package or unemployment. if you willingly take on the responsibility for another person's life and situation, you don't just get to stop arbitrarily.

Also, even if she went to college, if she hasn't been working then there's not a chance in hell she'll get employed after 20 years out of the work world. by ending things with her, he's essentially left her without recourse to afford an apartment, let alone the life she was accustomed to.

and still, nam, there are states in which their situation would have qualified her as his common-law wife, which would actually entitle her to half his shit.