I just spoke to my brother in law for a little bit and he confirmed that every feeling I had that my in laws didn't like me was completely valid and warranted. I don't know how to feel now...
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13 commentsReplies
The Ferguson said, (178 days ago)
@Jules: The short version of this story is that I'm not Mormon (not even close) and they very much are. The longer story entails them using me as a scapegoat for everything, including their 18 year old son choosing not to go on his mission. I have been living in their house for the past few months out of dire financial need and we've been treated like second class citizens the whole time. I do not get near the same respect as the other daughter in laws, even though I have done nothing but good for them since I picked up and moved from NYC to Denton, TX to be with their son.
The Ferguson said, (178 days ago)
@Alexis: Yeah, I was talking to one of the younger siblings (Ben is one of 10) and he was telling me all the things that people say about me when I'm not around. It was pretty harsh. I feel a little sick now.
The Ferguson said, (178 days ago)
The thing that gets me is that I knew what I was getting myself into here and I did it anyway. So why would I be surprised? It just makes me miss my understanding and accepting friends and family even more...
Alexis said, (177 days ago)
Jewls, I know how hard it is to have unaccepting in-laws. That was the deal breaker in my current relationship. (I'm lucky they actually like me) All you can do is be the loving wife and step-mom you already are. Who are they to judge? If they were as good of people as they think they are, they would love you regardless of religious beliefs. If they can't, they're the ones missing out.
You'll be out of there soon. I know it's not easy, but hang in there. ♥
Jubilee! said, (177 days ago)
I am so sorry sweetheart, you shouldn't have to feel second best to anyone. You know that people love you and have every reason to; don't let the bastards get you down.
The Ferguson said, (177 days ago)
I was talking to my mother and I told her that the one thing that gets me really mad is that I found myself second guessing if I was a good person or not. She said, "You have never second guessed yourself in your whole life, why the fuck would you start now?? You will be out of there in a few weeks and then you never have to go to Sunday dinner again!" I love my mother...
Alexis said, (177 days ago)
3 more weeks my dear. Then we can bitch about our crazy families over wine!
Superion said, (177 days ago)
It's always weird when authority figures are disapproving of you.
Remember that you are at LEAST their equal, and that you have made your choices and life accepting full responsibility for them, and you have done things that are /difficult/ for you, in order to make your life (and the lives of your family) work.
That kind of sacrifice and effort should always be honored, and if there are people around you who refuse to acknowledge how awesome that is; FUCK THEM.
Seriously. All you have to do is be civil, and respectful, and no more. Once you leave that house, you can take the lessons you've learned living there, and continue to be civil and respectful, but with the knowledge that this new space is YOURS (and Ben's) and those who come there must respect you, or fucking leave.
bringonthescience said, (175 days ago)
I sincerely hope Ben stands up for you, but even more so the feeling of "Fuck those guys" is very applicable. How disrespectful are they to bad mouth you in the presence of your husband?
I say you confront them. I think if it is making you really upset and sick about it then it is time to speak up.
?!?!!?