The men I love most are all gay. But not the flaming kind of gay: more like the hipster, adorably eccentric, slightly nerdy, awkward-schoolboyish type of gay. Darnit. Also, despite all the stuff people say about M/F friendships, I have a number of male friends that I've always thought were kinda hot. I don't have any particular strong feelings for them, but you know, sleeping with them has crossed my mind one or 5 or 10 times. Sometimes I'll make an off-handed comment about finding them cute, and they're always really surprised. Why is that?
I like!
No thanks!
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14 commentsReplies
everlovingben said, (120 days ago)
number 1 - this fellows do not expect to you to ever make a move like that and
number 2 - please advise them or their poor grooming or image choices you may be there only hope...
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
Nahhhhh, I'm not their only hope. They seem to do well enough with other ladies, grooming choices or no.
everlovingben said, (120 days ago)
yeah but one reason i have female friends is that they will help me avoid poor grooming and/or fashion choices...i don't even know how to match (well being red/green color blind doesn't help)
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
You don't understand. :-) Many of my male friends are far more concerned with fashion than I am. They've got very specific ideas of personal style.
Helliot said, (120 days ago)
If any female friends of mine were to say that I was cute in a serious way I would be a bit surprised.
Also, I believe I make pretty good grooming/fashion choices as a straight guy. Sometimes I wear bold-ish things that some gay guys would wear but only to attract girls like you :]
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
Well, to be honest, your facial hair is kinda... not working for me. I could do with more (like a nice even stubble/light beard) or less (preferably less), but the weird fuzzy chinnish-neckish thing? Not so much.
However, your skinny jeans, bright sweaters and socks? Definitely hot.
Especially the socks.
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
Although I don't know what "cute in a serious way" means. I mean, I do think they're cute. But I'm perfectly happy not pursuing anything. If they wanted to maybe flirt and see where it goes, I might not be averse to it, but generally I like things how they are. It's not really like, an overwhelming attraction.
scurvyman said, (120 days ago)
Why are they surprised? Why, because probably every single other woman in their life has either considered them as a friend or as a physically attractive male, but almost never both. Have you heard of ladder theory? ( http://www.laddertheory.com/ ) These guys are used to being on your friend ladder
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
I have indeed, mister scurvs! You well know that you probably fall into this group of friends though, and I'd be pretty shocked if it surprised you.
Salomea said, (120 days ago)
ALTHOUGH, I also have male friends whom I initially found VERY attractive, and may even have made some sort of overtures, but nothing ended up happening and gradually I decided we really are better off as friends, and despite the fact that I consider them quite attractive still I do not want to interact with them in any way except as friends now.
scurvyman said, (120 days ago)
@Salomea: I mean, it's still SURPRISING to me, but we have discussed such things before, so it does not take me by surprise. Anyway, we've also had many extensive conversations about all kinds of things, so maybe we've just breached subjects that haven't come up with these guys?
le_sacre said, (119 days ago)
"hipster, adorably eccentric, slightly nerdy, awkward-schoolboyish type of gay."
GIVE THEM TO ME.
Although sometimes I USED to find them kinda hot, but then they make unfortunate grooming or image choices of which I do not necessarily approve, and then it is sad.