M/F Friendships. Myth? Truth? Do you have a close friend from the opposite gender? Has sex ever gotten in the way?

Replies

Renazzle said, (132 days ago)

I have many male friends, and sex was never an issue, because it has never happened.

I also have friends where sex did happen (10-15 years ago) and it would never happen again, so sex didn't get in the way. It just bumped into the friendship said "Oh excuse me" and got out of the way.

daisy half-wit said, (132 days ago)

I'm carrying on a close relationship with a boy whom I like very much as a friend, but also wished we could make out a lot. Fortunately, he also likes me very much as a friend. Unfortunately, he doesn't not want to make out with me.

How do I navigate this? How do I not automatically hate whoever he dates? How do I not keep from wanting to rip my heart out and trample it on the ground in an effort to deaden my lovesickness?

Matthew said, (132 days ago)

I have a lot of friends who are girls. Just friends.

L said, (132 days ago)

my best friend is male. we have sex sometimes. no big deal.

acidflowers said, (132 days ago)

i have friendships with guys i've had sex with and the sex has never gotten in the way

Matthew said, (132 days ago)

Well, damn. I need better friends.

L said, (132 days ago)

i also have guy friends who i have never slept with, and guy friends who i have made out with, and guy friends who i have slept with a whole bunch.

sex gets in the way with girl friends more often, actually.

Sosane said, (132 days ago)

iunno. my bff is a boy. you know. but he's seriously like my twin brother. so we don't want to have sex. that would just be creepy.

ipe said, (132 days ago)

I've always had several close female friends, and while sex hasn't gotten in the way with most of them, there have been a couple in the past where it did, and we are no longer friends.

However, those were a long time ago, and only two ever.

Rick27593 said, (132 days ago)

Almost all of my friends are female actually. I obviously have never hat sex with any of them though, so obviously it hasnt gotten in the way.

You like him and he doesnt like you that way? Well, as for the not hating anyone he dates, theres a good chance you wouldnt like anyone he dates even if you didnt like him that way. It's pretty uncommon to feel like anyone is good enough for your best friends. Beyond that, I dont know what to tell you.

CocktailsMalIntent said, (132 days ago)

I have a lot of female friends. With one of them we had to talk about her having feelings for me, and we managed to move along just fine without it getting in the way, with another she's my ex so there was plenty of sex, but after the break up those feelings dissipated and we're totally fine now.

erica said, (132 days ago)

I don't have a ton of close male friends around here...the one I'm closest with has the latent hots for me. Even the other night, it came up! But I have absolutely no desire to have sex with him.

valkyrie said, (132 days ago)

One of my best friends is a dude. I guess we started off with the sex thing, because we had crushes on each other for a loooong time, but we moved past that without ever even kissing.

Centropomus said, (132 days ago)

It's rare, but it happens.

L said, (132 days ago)

i don't understand why it's rare.

L said, (132 days ago)

or why people think it's rare. or how it could possibly be a myth.

Xenu said, (132 days ago)

It's not rare at all! If all of my male friends and I were fucking, I'd be a very busy girl.

L said, (132 days ago)

XEEN i just sent you a private message.

Salomea said, (131 days ago)

I don't think I've ever been seriously attracted to any of my male friends. Well, sometimes I have and told them so, and they were like, "uh thanks," and I was like, "well, just wanted to let you know," and then we went on as before.

ilikedginger said, (131 days ago)

I think that girls who tend to be like "whatever my bff is a dude and I never wanted to do him" do not realize that if they offered him the poon, there is a very, very good chance he would take it. Friendship be damned.

But whatever, most of my friends are guys.

Branwell said, (131 days ago)

Most of my best friends are women. A couple of them are people I have asked on dates in the past (in the beginning stages of those friendships), and they said no, and it was never an issue again. (It helps that, once I got to know them, I realized both times that it never would've worked out between us anyway.)

A few are people I'm at least somewhat attracted to, but I'll never admit it for one reason or another (I think they'd reject me, they're not single, etc.) I've never had any problem abiding by those decisions -- if I was really severely pining over them or something, I would've said something. And yeah, to address Ginger's assertion, I'd probably have sex with and/or date these people if they brought the subject up. (Well, provided they were single -- if they weren't, I'd be pretty seriously disappointed in them.) But I wouldn't bring it up myself, and anyway, this is only a subset of my female friends.

And then there are some who I'm not particularly attracted to and never have been.

As for your questions... I don't know how to answer your first (and third) question, because that's never happened to me. I've been a bit disappointed for a while and moved on. Maybe wait a few days? Second question's a bit tougher -- that much having been said, I've found plenty of reasons to hate the people my friends date. Some of my friends date bad people. That is just what they do. It's no different from the frustration of one's friends doing anything else stupid that you can't stop them from doing.

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