RIP

Yesterday I started to put on my "fat" jeans (jeans that are too big for you so you feel safe not exposing any kind of muffin top on those bloated days) and I actually ripped off the belt loop when I was putting them on!

I've had those jeans for at least 7 years. They saw through many a slobby days and ice cream nights. That's the longest relationship I've ever had.

I guess I'm reduced to sweat pants now.

psa: it's still winter

dear women,

you may have forgotten what time of year it is, so please keep this in mind when you get changed in the morning:

it's winter still. W-I-N-T-E-R. 

when you see a glimmer of sunshine, you should not immediately put on short shorts, mini skirts or other revealing clothing. it's still FREEZING outside.

you just look plain ridiculous. and you're cold. and you're making me want to stick hot knitting needs in my eyes. spare us all.

yours truly,
those of us who cherish our eyesight