I got a bitch that sucks my dick til I nut, spit it on my gut, and slurp that shit back up.

Ain't that a slut? She even takes it in the butt. Fuck for about an hour, now she wants a golden shower. You didn't know that we'd be pissin on hoes.

What is your October 4th Resolution?

I shall no longer get THAT drunk in front of my coworkers. Or repeatedly ask all of them how much they love the ganj. Or drag the IT guy to the gas station so I can buy a neon, rubber centipede and black & milds.

Dear Customers,

I apologize for the service you received before I took over this department. I will try to help you the best I can, but there are a lot of things that happened that I can do nothing about, except try to expedite things the best I can and listen to you rant at me for 20 minutes. Name calling isn't necessary. I wasn't the one who didn't confirm the manufacturer received your purchase order, nor am I the one that you spoke to regarding this a month ago, because I was not here at the time.

Sorry,

Tiffany

My cat hates me. :(

Ever since I got the new kitten, he keeps trying to run away. He even figured out how to open the screen door so I had to block it, now he won't stop growling and snarling at every living creature in this apartment. I'd let him chill outside, because he loves it out there and always seems to be in a better mood if I let him go, but he's not smart enough to stay out of the parking lot and we got coyotes around these parts

Usually in the mornings he gets in our bed and is all snuggles and sweetness, but as the day progresses he gets more and more pissed off, to the point you can't come to close to him without getting your leg attacked (well, smacked, he won't use his claws). I understand he's mad I brought in another boy cat, but this is no way for a neutered 6 year old that came from a house he shared with three other kitties should behave.