Essays on Go, Team Internet!

Weeird.

2008-08-29T03:08:32-07:00

I am alone in my room and very freaked out. I have a ceiling fan in my room that's turned on and has been for the past hour or so. I am sitting at my computer, only moving my hands to mouse and type. I've been in the same position looking at the monitor for the past half hour or so. About a minute ago, I felt the distinct and deliberate sensation of someone blowing on my neck...

The boss is playing "middle-man" for our questions to the client.

2008-08-29T02:54:03-07:00

Q: How are map images to be displayed?
A: Yes.

Q: How much detail is needed for them?
A: None.

what does your paycheck stub say to you?

2008-08-29T01:41:48-07:00

does it ask you to go on vacation?

does it say you need to stop spending all your $$ on 'special' massages?

NAKED PALIN PHOTOS!!!

2008-08-29T01:29:14-07:00

just kidding

Jamie Foxx has mad skills

2008-08-29T01:28:58-07:00

Who the fuck is Sarah Palin?

2008-08-29T12:15:02-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm very, very happy he chose a first-term Alaskan governer, former beauty queen. But it's like when your friend sits on nachos and doesn't know it, then spends the rest of the day walking around at the fair with nacho cheese on her ass. You don't know whether to gradually walk further and further away from her in case people think you two are together or if you should let her know she has cheese on her ass and spend the next thirty minutes cleaning her pants with soggy napkins in a sticky bathroom. Does that euphemism make sense? I don't really think so. It conveys that I'm friends with Republicans. But back to the point, she's opposes gay marriage, abortions, and anything that involves the environment. I think it's a longer shot now for McCain to get the votes, but if by the hatred of God himself somehow that happens, you know as soon as McCain and his young, hot VP get the nod, they are drilling the shit out of Alaska. This can't happen.

Now I know how to WIN at YELLING

2008-08-29T12:14:42-07:00

Arts and Crafts

2008-08-29T11:27:18-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

BACK AGAIN WITH SOME FUNK FOR YOUR FRIIIIIIIDAY

2008-08-29T10:40:33-07:00

I am so tempted to chop off my hair.

2008-08-29T10:34:36-07:00

I have been patiently letting it grow for many months now. I am tempted just because of the sensory pleasure of hacking into my hair, not very precisely, with kitchen shears or something. It feels like I might be able to shear myself of all these ridiculous problems along with my hair. Very satisfying. But it would be stupid, and I would only wind up feeling ugly afterwards.

Would you listen to ska made by this band?

2008-08-29T09:38:25-07:00

Let's get political!

2008-08-29T06:01:33-07:00

So I'm reading over news from the Obama speech (and I can't actually find a true transcript, or I'd be quoting that)... and I find a flaw!

"There, in a few sentences, was a distillation of Obama's new message: Ordinary people are hurting economically, the Bush administration has failed to respond, and a McCain presidency would represent nothing but "more of the same.""

(http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-assess29-2008aug29,0,3064148.story)

But that's a false charge - because the bushies have done things - the economic stimulus package, extending the time allowed to claim unemployment by 3 months... how is that failure to respond?

This will be me when I'm old.

2008-08-29T12:52:21-07:00

The Archive from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Again, I give you -j

2008-08-28T10:21:18-07:00

me: sorry, and then I disappeared
gomen-yo!
-j: uh
wakarimasen!
-j: (I'm going to assume that's Japanese, and not street, yo)
me: haha, yes, it means i'm sorry!
-j: aww
no worries!
babelfish translated it into english as gomen-yo
NOT HELPFUL.
me: huh?
that's not english
AT ALL
-j: exactly!!
it also translated wakarimasen as wakarimasen
which is so meta it hurts
me: wtf?!
maybe babelfish is powered by the illterate
-j: or the really $#@(*&ing lazy
me: haha
that joke wouldn't have been so funny if i hadn't spelled it incorrectly
-j: ahahaha
I didn't even spot it
me: maybe you're illterate
-j: that's possible
although I did go to univrsity
me: haha
this poor guy i know. he's brilliant at math, but dude can not spell.
he once spelled college colgee on an online forum. needless to say, the nickname stuck.
-j: ahaha!!
I have a friend like that too
very bright
but oy
he once wrote the phrase "wiper sniper"...when I asked him what the hell that was, he said "whippersnapper"
I actually like wiper sniper better.
me: one not so bright dude once told me he wanted to go back to school to become a library
-j: AHAHAHAHA
dream big, little bookshelf, dream big.
me: even when i said 'librarian'? he said, no, library
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAA
-j: it makes my dreams of becoming a convenience store seem positively pedestrian.
me: dream big little, uh shelf of 40's, dream big
j: ZOMG
laughing -> coughing fit
me: oh dude, why can't you just live here?
-j: it's not out of the question!!
assuming I don't cough myself to death first
me: and us lowly Americans don't have health care, so that's not such a good idea
-j: that's true
but you do have guns
you should be able to just TAKE healthcare
me: thos solve errthing
uh, those
-j: bros before thos

John McCain already won, Part 2.

2008-08-28T09:06:21-07:00

I called it earlier this year---and sadly, inevitably, nothing has changed.

I went looking for a transcript of Obama's speech this evening and found nothing but slander, innuendo, and wall-to-wall headlines questioning the Senator's "fitness to lead." His speech reached no one.

I can only pray that President McCain's extermination of the Iranian people not be with nuclear weapons.

I'm going to Vegas tomorrow! With @soulcamp!

2008-08-28T08:31:54-07:00

Show me your BLOG

2008-08-28T06:58:36-07:00

I'm trying to organize my Google Reader and subscriptions and what not and I think this would probably be the best way to keep up with old Consumators and the awesomeness I haven't read from in a while. SO PLEASE SHARE WITH ME YOUR BLOGS.

My new buttons

2008-08-28T04:41:42-07:00

I'm very proud of myself. Bad picture of new buttons on my pants.

Before:

Actual Nursing School Question:

2008-08-28T03:56:36-07:00

)

A client tells the nurse that her husband has gained 40 pounds over the past year due to the stress of his job. She complains, “Since we have been trying to conceive for the past 6 months, it seems as if he has gotten bigger!” An appropriate response by the nurse would be:

(1point)

	“Your husband should lose some weight before he gets sick.”

	“He has to work to pay these fertility bills.”

	“If your husband is obese, his size may prevent him from adequate penetration.”

	“Why is he under so much stress?”

Forty-five years ago today.

2008-08-28T01:18:17-07:00